Major life changes can impact us in a myriad of ways, depending on how we perceive the change and if we have the tools, skills and resources to manage these changes or whether we feel vulnerable, out of control, a victim of circumstances, in other words, rather than being in charge we feel that life is happening to us.
The other aspect of life changes to take into consideration is to what degree are we part of the life change decision or if the change is sudden and unexpected. These factors can also influence how we deal with life changes.
Life changes can be an opportunity to grow and develop ourselves; this is a choice and depending on how much you wish to take control of your life, make the most of the situation, and keep your life on an even keel, and with a positive outlook, will determine to what degree you are willing to challenge yourself and your belief systems, so that you can create new ways of thinking and new levels of performance. Major life changes can range from falling in love, getting married and starting a family, to separation, divorce or death of a loved one; from dramatic financial shifts, from wealth to poverty, or from poverty to great wealth, from health to critical illness; from being a calm happy person to experiencing major trauma, negativity and depression.
One of the most difficult life changes to cope with, when first we realise that we have lost someone close, someone important to us, emotions can roller coaster from moment to moment, day to day. There are stages that people tend to experience from acceptance of loss, to grief, to adjustment, to eventually moving on; and in each stage there are a multitude of emotions that we may go through. Life coaching can help you to process what’s happening.
Losing a partner usually causes devastating life changes, where life adjustments can only happen when the living spouse is ready to make that change, to move forward. Only time, understanding, compassion and patience can prepare you for the moment when it is right for you to step into a new life, a changed life without that special, important partner by your side.
Sadly, and realistically, 20-30% of pregnancies naturally end in miscarriage, and as we get older, this percentage increases. Culturally, miscarriage is not openly spoken about, and even though this is known to be a reality, it is still a shock when it happens; there is a huge sense of loss, deep sadness, and emotional turmoil. Time does heal and taking charge of your emotions gives you the chance to deal with any inner conflict that may arise from this event; it enables you to remove any negative or destructive beliefs relating to pregnancy and being a parent, and to move towards creating the family you wish for with a positive and inspirational sense of purpose.
When you realise that you do not have enough money to manage your monthly outgoings, to pay your bills, to heat your home, to put food on the table. Working out how to manage the situation, what needs to change, where there are opportunities to create income, if at all; what your choices are and how best to plan towards changing your financial situation.
One of lifes major stresses, owing lots of money and not knowing how you will be able to repay these debts; feeling worried, helpless and stressed. You can take charge of the situation by speaking to the right organisations to work out what can be done to mange the debts so that you can continue to live and look forward to a time when you will no longer have debt. By being in control, you build your inner confidence and with greater confidence you are more likely to be motivated to take action and find ways to manage your money and create an income and ultimately greater choices.
Where two unique individuals decide to share a home, a space, a life and with that comes a whole host of expectations; we instinctively tend to want the other person to be more like us, even though we accepted them for themselves prior to being married, there is a tendency to forget this when we marry. Be open, be patient, be accepting and allow yourselves time to adjust to each other and find a compromise on those areas where you will naturally differ and that can be acceptable to you both.
The shift to living with a partner is very exciting and with this decision comes a range of new challenges; decisions you were accustomed to making on your own. You now need to consider someone else, their point of view, their different approach. Compromise is key; discussion to achieve shared decision making and choosing what are the areas that you each have specific needs to fulfil versus those you are willing to let go. The better and more open the communication, the greater the success at this major life change.
Daunting for some, exciting for others; where do you start and how do you get to meet the right person for you? From setting realistic expectations, to maintaining a high level of self-confidence and self-esteem, keeping healthy boundaries, making a positive first impression, and staying true to yourself; all these factors are essential when you are in the dating process and / or starting a new relationship.
Whether this comes from choice or as a result of forced change, moving jobs or changing careers can be an unnerving life change; from the familiar to the new, starting from the beginning with learning your new environment, creating relationships with new colleagues, possibly having to develop new skills and learn new systems, all these factors are outside our comfort zone and can bring about feelings of stress and anxiety. Be confident in who you are and focus on the positive reasons you have been accepted in this new job, together with giving yourself time to work out the ways the new organisation works and time to fit into the new role.
When not having worked for a while, it can be scary to face the change to your life and your routine; people often fear change because it is unknown, it is not familiar and therefore, we tend to feel unsafe, insecure. With a tiny shift in perception, if we embrace and look forward to learning the new environment, if we accept that the first week or two, or maybe three it will feel new, and that before a month is through we will have created new habits and new routines that include this concept of being back at work, the anxiety will naturally subside and you can enjoy the process and this life change.
Becoming a parent with a first child, and again with a second child and more, comes with major life changes, challenges as well as rewards. From stress and exhaustion, to happiness and contentment, there are fluctuating emotions to contend with.
An overwhelming experience, often filled with dread, worry, stress and anxiety; there is an intense need to get it right, yet what is right exactly? Make a choice to let go of the internal mental angst that surrounds the subject of choosing the right school and allow yourself to find the best in the school where your child does get accepted. If you accept it, your child will too; if you believe that it is good enough for your child, your child will reflect your beliefs and make the most of where they are at, regardless of what other people say.
Making such decisions about your children, who sees them and when, is a major life change that impacts you the parents, and them, your children. Yes, there are guidelines and systems that you can turn to if you cannot agree amongst yourselves and you could turn this into a battle, a minefield of emotions, and need to control. Think of the bigger picture, the impact of major disagreements between parents on what your children absorb and learn about communication and loving relationships; who gains from these disagreements, or as Dr Wayne Dyer says: Let go of your ego’s need to be right. When you’re in the middle of an argument, ask yourself: Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the joyous, loving, spiritual mode, your connection to intention is strengthened.
There are various parenting styles that parents naturally adopt, which are most likely linked to how they were parented combined with their own personality and approach to parenting. The authoritarian and authoritative are stricter and with set guidelines and boundaries, with the latter being more open and flexible to listening and responding to children. There is the permissive and uninvolved parenting, which ranges from indulgence to minimal communication, which tends to indicate a level of detachment that often stems from issues in the parent. Different parenting styles will have varied impact on the childs confidence, self-esteem, performance and communication.
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